I'm still here...

As I'm sure you know, my life has been more upside down this past month than the last oh, I don't know how many months... I am working on a post... It is one that I am taking my time on, as it means a lot to me... Please bear with me!

Until then, I will leave you with a few pictures I took when I was walking with God in the Smokey Mountain National Park... My favorite place in the world... My thoughtful spot... My healing place...

 God is the most awesome artist!

 

 The path of life is not always easy...

 

 If you look for God, you will find him...

 

 Our God is an Awesome God!

 

 As the mountains surround Jerusalem...

 

 Peace like a river...

 

I will cling to the Rock...

 



Life as BEC

I have been working on this one post for several weeks now. I just couldn't get my words right. My thoughts straight...
But I think I'm ready now...
Yesterday was Thanksgiving. My mom and my Morris came up. I made a big spread. I tend to go over board, plus cooking for Babyson means most of it is made from scratch. We had a whole turkey, which is now being made into stock for future uses (would you believe that just over a year ago I had and aversion to touching bone-in poultry? Couldn't stand it. Made me gag. Now I de-bone my own chicken and make my own stock. I still don't like to eat it on the bone, but I can touch it now!), mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole, broccoli casserole (because Babyson can't have green beans), home made cranberry sauce, home made gravy, and bread made in the crock pot (an experiment I will have to tell you about later...). I also made a pumpkin pie and whipped my own cream. My point in all of this is, I was so busy planning and making this feast, I forgot to think and remember what I was thankful for, what I was blessed with.... I also forgot to go grocery shopping for regular everyday food, so we have no food in the house besides left overs, but that is besides the point... Erhm...
As I sit here listening and looking at my sweet beautiful mother, snuggle with my wonderful daughter, listen to my boys pester and tease each other, I feel the need to express what I am thankful for. Blessed with...

I am Blessed 2 B the daughter of my mother. My Mother is wonderful and one of my heroes. She has been through a lot in her life, but she has always come out on top. She is a strong woman who rolls with the punches and makes lemonade out of the lemons life gives her. I am proud to say that I am a lot like her. I always had a happy home. I always felt loved and taken care of. No matter how hard things were. I hope I can pass that on to my own children.

I am Blessed 2 B the daughter of three wonderful men. I only knew my biological father for just over 3 years. But what I remember of him is wonderful. I don't remember any bad. I remember love. I remember his hands. Holding me, playing with me, comforting me. I remember dancing with him, and the surprises he always had for me in his shirt pockets.
My Mother started dating my first step father when I was 4. All of my childhood memories have him in them. Even after he and my mom divorced, he still saw me as his daughter. And he still does.
When I was 15, my Mama married my second step father, Morris. I call him my Morris, because a lot of people these days have step fathers, but only I have a Morris. He was there when I was going through my rebellious teenage years and all the ups and downs that came with them. And he still loves me! He takes good care of my Mama. It warms my heart...

I am Blessed 2 B the mother of my children. Some say that before we are born, while we are still spirits in heaven, we choose who we want to be born to. If that is true, I am so very honored and humbled that my children chose me to be their mother. That God saw me fit to raise them is a great blessing.
My daughter, my Babygirl. She is so beautiful, both inside and out. She is so much smarter and mature than I was at her age. She teaches me wisdom and love every day. She has an amazing ability for doing whatever she puts her mind to.
My Eldestson. He teaches me kindness and determination. He is so smart, he blows me away. He also has an amazing ability to do whatever he puts his mind to. He has it in his mind to go to Harvard or MIT or the Air Force Academy one day, and I am sure he will make it.
My Babyson. He has been my life changing child. He has grown up with allergies and asthma and ADHD, and has never complained. He rolls with the punches. And he overcomes. These have been a part of his life from almost the beginning. But they have not defined him. He has taught me patience. Lots of patience. Because of him, I have found a better way to feed my family, and a new found passion in how to take care of them.

I am Blessed 2 B the wife of my Husband. We have been through so much, so many ups and downs. And we are still in this together. He teaches me the power of hope. Of how someone can overcome and change their life. And that each day is a lesson in choices and forgiveness. We all have choices in this life. Some we make, some that are made for us. It is what we do with these choices that defines us.

And, because I am Blessed 2 B the child of my Creator, I have received all of these blessings. He has been with me through out my life. He knows how terminally screwed up I am, and my hopeless ability to screw up my life and everything in it. And He loves me anyways. He has always loved me. Even before me or any of my ancestors walked this earth, he loved me so much that he sent His Babyson to be killed in my place. I could never do that. But He did. I am so unworthy, but yet so blessed... I am Blessed Eternally by my Creator. And that is what I have decided to call my blog.

This is Life as BEC...

 

 

 

 

Life as a River

Life was never promised to be constant. Never in His instruction manual did God ever promise that it would be. It is like a river. Constantly moving, constantly changing. Sometimes overflowing, sometimes nearly dried up. Sometimes making waves that splash over the banks, sometimes peaceful and smooth as glass... And who would want an unchanging life, anyways. Think about it. If a river gets blocked off, has no flow in or out, it becomes stagnant. Things rot and decay. Things die. It literally stinks. Who would want that? God does not want that for us. Definitely not in our spiritual life (really how much life can you bring to His Garden if you are rotted and decayed inside?), and especially in our physical life. My favorite passage right now in this time of ebb and flow, of known and unknown, is Jeremiah 29:11-14. It speaks to me so much right now.

Jeremiah 29:11-14

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. ¹² In those days when you pray, I will listen. ¹³ If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. ¹⁴ I will be found by you,” says the Lord. “I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land.”  (NLT)

I know that God has great things planned for us. I also know that he never promised that the road would be paved and smooth with nice, clean little rest stops and amazing free points of interest along the way (anyone know of an awesome glass jar museum?). It is going to be bumpy, hilly, rocky and at times down right difficult to tread. But he promises amazing things at the end of our journey.

Our life, My life, is changing in so many ways lately. I, we, have started on so many journeys right now. I am trying to change the way my family eats and approaches everything that has to do with our bodies. I have found a love for making herbal anything. Though that is a road that is most often paved with good intentions... I have tried to keep chemical medicines out of mine and my family's body. Though I have faltered many times... Like today...

I have had a horrible sore throat for the last couple of days and I have tried to treat it naturally. But I was afraid that it may be strep throat. I didn't trust my very little self taught herbal knowledge to be able to treat it effectively. And being around all my babies, I didn't want to risk infecting them, so I went to the doctor. It was just "allergies", with all the farmers picking cotton and plowing peanuts around here, and it was making it's way from my sinuses down my throat and into my upper chest. I got a steroid shot and an antibiotic shot. I also got a perscription for antibiotics and cough medicine with codeine. I admit, my new natural side was ranting and raving "It's going to take me forever to get this stuff out of my system! And not to mention rebuilding the flora in my gut! (not that it was perfect to begin with...)" And then the practical side of myself says "Hey, you have an obsession with soda and french fries, not to mention the convenience food habit you are trying to kick. You have done really good on kicking the wintergreen habit (which, if you really know me, you know how much of an accomplishment that was. I could go through a large bag in less than two days... it was bad... but I have been wintergreen free for 10 months now... perhaps that should be a subject for another post sometime... my theory on addictions no matter how small... hmmm.... and i am rambling...). Don't be so hard on yourself!" See... A rocky road...

But, I do feel a bit better. My voice is starting to come back and I can almost speak a whole paragraph without feeling like I am struggling to force air through my swollen throat. That's something to be said for modern medicine. And I choose to believe that everything I was doing on my own (gargling grapefruit seed extract mixed in salt water, eating Tbs of honey, taking garlic pills, drinking licorice and marshmallow root tea) weakened the debilitating effects of this horrible crippling illness (ahm... sorry... got carried away)... To try and redeem myself, I have some slippery elm and licorice root tea throat lozenges drying in the oven... Baby steps... Tiny little baby steps...

Hubbyman has been telling me that I need to get back on this blog. To tell my stories and my journeys and my recipes. I think I may start doing that. I don't like the title of my blog. I need to change it. I have no idea what to change it to... Have any ideas? Ramblings of a mad woman?
Anywho... I plan on getting on here more. I plan on sharing with you how our many journeys are progressing. And the many stumbles, ruts and tripping over our feet along the way. And maybe, it might help someone get through some of the stumbles in their own journey. Because, hey, we are human.
But, God is Divine.

~b